hey you

hah.. emosi gw udah ke ubun2..
mungkin dia gatau aja kali ya, keadaan gw disini gmn.. yaudah lah ya.. haha gw emang sangat sensitif..
gw bener2 capek boy. melebihi apapun, otak gw bener2 penuh. jd sorry.. tp gw memaklumi, krn gwpun harus ngertiin lo, siapa tau lo benci sm org yg lg sensi krn masalah bodohnya sendiri dan terkadang otaknya kacau, dan bahkan mikir aja ga bs, jd spontan smw yg kluar.
if you really want me to leave you alone FOREVER, i will. because i feel like i am the lucifer.. i am so cruel, and evil, and i have no feeling.. you dont know what i have in mind.. i haven't show you anything.. like my friends' opinion, my opinion and whatsoever. cz maybe I AM EVIL, but i realize it. i am conscious about what i did and how does it make you feel and i regret it. you dont know how much poem i've made for you, you dont know how many times i declare myself as a stupid girl. you, see everything in a different way. i appreciate your point of view. but you dont appreciate mine. so please dont make me feel stupid and do stupid things again. i dont wanna hurt myself anymore. you're a none jerk guy who turns into a jerk guy. and remember one thing again.. i'm a teenage girl. not a 3 year old girl.. i say this in a different way now, i wanna start fresh and new, because i've been through this and i dont wanna do this anymore.. as you said before, no one knows what will happen.. so try to trust your own words..

~xoxo

clueless

yak gw ngepost lagi..
krn gw cluless.. gw punya perasaan ini tp gw ga bs mengartikannya. mungkin krn gw takut. gw melakukan hal bodoh kalo gw lg sakit hati, n gw menghindari hal itu sangat teramat. gw pernah wkt sakit hati, seharian ga makan. n tanpa ada rasa lapar sm skali. malemnya br brasa, maag gw kronis. terkronis yg prnah gw alamin. tp gw ga keberatan, krk hati gw lbih sakit drpd maag gw yg mungkin bs membawa gw k rmh sakit saat itu jg. am i a simpleton?? itu yg gw tanyain. am i??
andai ada yg bs jwb. krn gw slalu bikin kputusan yg salah n mencintai cowok yg salah. gw bs aja nasihatin org tntang hubungan mrk n mrk berhasil pd akhirnya, tp gw mrasa munafik krn bahkan hubungan cinta gw goblok segoblok-gobloknya..
mungkin emang gw yg salah, saat gw setia, cowoknya salah, saat gw mendua, cowoknya baik. jd gw bingung. tp 1 hal yg gw pasti adalah, gw g mau clbk. itu mungkin smacam janji pd diri gw sendiri krn gw ud pernah 3x clbk, n ketiganya gombal n gw dikhianati sampe gw merasa bego. jd, gw bener2 clueless. n really, do not take this that seriously, its just my "unek-unek". n gw g bakal jwb komen. thx my blog..
~xoxo